It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize