just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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