I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
