i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
