Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize