I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
