He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
