matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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