considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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