I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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