you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We left an ass print on the piano.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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