did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She's the barista slut.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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