she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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