It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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