Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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