sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
