..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
