Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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