I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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