you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize