I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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