Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
