One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
