At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
