Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
