xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
