PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
