she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
