i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
