Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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