he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
