the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
