we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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