There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
