I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize