Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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