I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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