We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
