There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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