I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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