is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
