I'm really into asian looking animals
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize