I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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