I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think my moral compass just broke
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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