do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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