you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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