the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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