i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
