so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
