Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
