More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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