smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
