i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
