someone get that fucking seahorse.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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