Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
