I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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