Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
