It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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