I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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