somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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