wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
